A Late Happy Easter from Eric Trump
Early Leaked Video of Supermassive Black Hole
At the center of every large galaxy is a space where nothing can escape, otherwise known as a black hole. Since they were first theorized, black holes have been a topic of fear and intrigue for scientists and laymen alike. An enormous void which sucks up all surrounding matter, after all, is enough to frighten the most intelligent scientists and even the bravest warriors.
Considering the fact that any nearby light is devoured by a black hole, obtaining any image or video had been a near impossible task. However, The Event Horizon Telescope (EHT) Project, a global initiative whose goal is to obtain information about black holes, has found a way to achieve what was previously unimaginable.
“The Event Horizon Telescope is a global network of synchronized radio observatories that work in unison to observe radio sources associated with black holes with angular resolution comparable to their event horizons.” https://eventhorizontelescope.org/
Using a collection of observations from two years we now finally have video footage of a supermassive black hole. While there is very much that is still unknown about black holes, this is an enormous step in a positive direction.
Here is a leaked first look at real footage of a supermassive black hole.
Man Finds Cure to Cancer, He Just Doesn’t Feel Like Sharing it Right Now
The long awaited cure to cancer may have finally been discovered!
Leonard Foster, a 29 year old medical scientist, claims to have formulated a drug that will effectively eliminate cancer. The drug is supposedly cheap to manufacture and has the potential to be sold over the counter for a very affordable price. If brought to fruition, this pharmaceutical will save countless lives and phase out the need for extensive and unaffordable treatments.
There’s only one problem.
In the midst of Foster’s breakthrough, he had been dealing with some hardships in his personal life. He and his girlfriend of 6 months, Cheryl, got into a heated dispute, leaving him in a state of severe emotional distress. On Sunday, September 16, Foster publicly addressed that he did not feel like sharing his cancer curing drug with the world. Later that day, it was found, in a barrage of tweets, that this was due to the fact that he and Cheryl had recently terminated their relationship.
“We’ve broken up several times before, but this is different.” Foster said. “As soon as I figure things out, I’ll feel more comfortable presenting my drug to the public. But I just feel like I need to work on myself before I can continue to help others. Does that make sense?”
It didn’t take long for word to spread that Foster would be prolonging the release of his cure. In response, a movement was orchestrated by a group of desperate cancer patients to raise money for his mental health. As of today, nearly $150,000 have been raised on Kickstarter to get Foster out of his funk.
New Study: You’ve Been Working Out Wrong Your Whole Life (And So Have Your Ancestors)
A new study shows that we have been working out incorrectly for years. These findings will not only help you look and feel better, but working out will be easier than ever before. That’s right! Experts have found that rather than consistently increasing the weight you lift after maxing out each set, it is more effective to, in fact, decrease the weight.
“Whenever you increase the amount of weight you lift, you’re essentially sending neurons to your muscles which signal to them that they aren’t strong enough. Turns out, similar to an adolescent child, our muscles are very stubborn by nature and tend to respond poorly to negative feedback.” said head researcher Paul Schneider. “Alternatively, when you decrease the amount of weight that you lift, those same neurons are letting your muscles know that you already believe that they are strong enough, always have been, and always will be. That emotional support results in the muscle to increase in not only size but in happiness as well.”
The reason some experts believe we’ve stuck to the same defective method for so long is because it is in our nature to think that more is better. This study has been traced back all the way to the Paleolithic Era when people had to hunt for food and scavenge for berries. Typically, those who returned with the most food or the most berries were rewarded by being able to eat the most food or the most berries. For centuries, we’ve falsely believed that the same rules translated to working out.
“It made sense back then. It just doesn’t make sense now.” Schneider said.
In light of these recent findings, the government will begin enforcing all public gyms to include 2.5, 2, 1.5, 1 and 0.5 pound free weights as a part of their selection.
The results of related study: Does Eating Less Calories Actually Make You Gain Weight? Are sure to shock you.