Man Finds Cure to Cancer, He Just Doesn’t Feel Like Sharing it Right Now

The long awaited cure to cancer may have finally been discovered!

Leonard Foster, a 29 year old medical scientist, claims to have formulated a drug that will effectively eliminate cancer. The drug is supposedly cheap to manufacture and has the potential to be sold over the counter for a very affordable price. If brought to fruition, this pharmaceutical will save countless lives and phase out the need for extensive and unaffordable treatments.

There’s only one problem.

In the midst of Foster’s breakthrough, he had been dealing with some hardships in his personal life.  He and his girlfriend of 6 months, Cheryl, got into a heated dispute, leaving him in a state of severe emotional distress. On Sunday, September 16, Foster publicly addressed that he did not feel like sharing his cancer curing drug with the world. Later that day, it was found, in a barrage of tweets, that this was due to the fact that he and Cheryl had recently terminated their relationship.

“We’ve broken up several times before, but this is different.” Foster said. “As soon as I figure things out, I’ll feel more comfortable presenting my drug to the public. But I just feel like I need to work on myself before I can continue to help others. Does that make sense?”

It didn’t take long for word to spread that Foster would be prolonging the release of his cure. In response, a movement was orchestrated by a group of desperate cancer patients to raise money for his mental health. As of today, nearly $150,000 have been raised on Kickstarter to get Foster out of his funk.